When children enter foster care, every aspect of their lives is disrupted — from their home and daily routine to their sense of safety and family connections. Just imagine: You’re six years old when everything familiar in your world suddenly changes. Your own bed is gone, your neighborhood friends are nowhere to be found and the one constant that anchors you is your big sister’s protective hand in yours.

That connection to a sibling can make all the difference between feeling completely lost and knowing that at least one piece of your world is still intact. For children entering foster care, sibling connections are a crucial lifeline. That connection can help them heal, grow and hope for the future.

“When children enter foster care, they lose a lot of their sense of normalcy and stability,” explains Kim Smith, Director of Kinship Care at KVC Kansas. “When you don’t have your sibling who you’ve depended on for emotional support, it can make entering foster care even more traumatic.” 

Keeping siblings together in foster care is always the goal. But when circumstances require separation, ensuring their connections remain strong becomes just as crucial. Here’s why these relationships matter so much, and what can be done to protect them.

What Makes Sibling Bonds So Important?

The relationship between siblings is one of the longest connections a person will have with another individual in their lifetime. They have inside jokes and look out for one another. They have shared experiences (both good and bad) that make them emotional support systems for one another. 

Siblings often become each other’s protectors, anchors of identity, sources of cultural connection and a sense of familiarity during hardships. When families are in crisis, it can be incredibly traumatizing. But when siblings can maintain their connection, it combats three overwhelming feelings that make trauma so damaging. It prevents feelings of helplessness, isolation and loss of purpose. Having a sibling by their side reinforces their sense of purpose and control over their lives during a time filled with hardship.

Why Staying Together is Ideal

When possible, keeping siblings together in foster care experience provides the strongest foundation for healing. Siblings who are with the same caregiver experience better outcomes across multiple areas. They demonstrate improved placement stability, better mental health outcomes and increased likelihood of successful reunification or adoption. Siblings can offer each other a sense of stability and identity that can help them survive even the most difficult circumstances.

Beth Stonefield, who directs community-based services in KVC Missouri’s Eastern and Central Regions, witnessed this firsthand with three children — Abby, Bailey and Cate (names changed to ensure privacy) — who entered foster care nearly a decade ago. The three girls had extensive trauma histories, and they were used to being together. Their foster caregiver was committed to keeping them together despite challenges. 

Abby, Cate and Bailey were able to stay united when a relative became their permanent caregiver. But when that caregiver passed away suddenly, Cate, Abby and Bailey had to return to foster care. Their first foster mom stepped up again and is now their adoptive mother. “Being able to keep these sisters together has had such a positive impact on their social-emotional development and conflict resolution,” Stonefield explains. “Staying together as a sibling set helped with their sense of stability, and it’s incredible to see how great these sisters are all doing, even years later.” 

Maintaining Connections When Separation Happens

Reality isn’t always ideal. Sometimes there aren’t enough bedrooms, or children have different needs requiring specialized care. When siblings must live apart, maintaining their connection becomes everyone’s mission. Here, creativity and commitment make all the difference. 

How Foster Parents Can Help Keep Siblings Connected

Foster parents often become the connective tissue in these stories, going above and beyond to maintain sibling bonds. In addition to the case managers facilitating visits, foster care providers can step in. Foster parents can exchange information and get siblings together on their own as well. Whether it’s inviting siblings to birthday parties, meeting at parks for picnics or coordinating sleepovers where separated siblings can spend entire weekends together, these connections happen in so many wonderful ways. 

Regular Visits and Communication 

When foster parents can’t coordinate directly, KVC steps in to ensure regular sibling visits happen. Sometimes this requires significant coordination. Stonefield recalls four KVC team members collaborating to pick up seven siblings from five different homes, just to get them together. But the effort was worth it to keep the siblings connected. 

Technology plays a vital role as well. Phone calls, video chats and even emails help siblings stay connected between visits. For younger children, something as simple as a shared bedtime story over the phone can maintain that precious bond.

Therapeutic Support 

KVC also provides therapeutic sibling visits, during which a counselor helps children process the emotions that come from their separation while strengthening their relationship. These sessions give siblings the tools they need to stay connected emotionally, even when physically apart.

Bringing Siblings Together at Camp

Perhaps no program better illustrates the power of sibling connection than KVC Missouri’s Sibling Adventure Camp at the Meramec Adventure Ranch. Sibling Adventure Camp is designed to give brothers and sisters in foster care (ages 7–18) a chance to spend time together building strong relationships. At the Ranch, they share incredible experiences and create lasting memories together. The transformative power of an outdoor adventure environment acts as a catalyst to grow individual and sibling self-efficacy, connection and purpose.

The camp experience includes horseback riding, swimming, climbing and campfire cooking. But the real magic happens in the moments of healing and relationship building. Siblings make cards for each other and take photos together. But most importantly, they get to just be siblings again — teasing, laughing and looking out for each other.

The camp also addresses the complex emotions that come with separation. “Older siblings can sometimes feel shame because they felt like they should have been able to prevent the trauma that younger siblings went through,” explains Brett Bailey, the Director of Meramec Adventure Ranch. “This camp gives an amazing opportunity for them to start working through that in a compassionate environment.”

Bailey shares a particularly touching story about a young man who attended sibling camp from age six to 17, only seeing his sister during that annual week together. Years later, he still talks about those memories. “I’m so glad that Meramec got to play a little piece in that story where these two have memories of being together, as sister and brother.”

Kassey Odneal, Associate Director at the Ranch, shares how sibling sets get a chance to reconnect at camp and feel like a family again.

Siblings in Foster Care: Spreading Awareness

At KVC, we’re continuing to develop innovative approaches to maintain sibling connections. We work with licensing regulations to maximize space and use waivers to exceed typical placement capacities. We also provide practical support like beds and car seats to accommodate larger groups. Maintaining sibling connections isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it. The biggest challenge is finding foster caregivers willing to take sibling groups, especially those including both teenagers and younger children.

For those considering providing foster care for siblings, Bailey emphasizes the importance of commitment. “There has to be a choice to be committed no matter what,” he says. When these sibling connections are preserved — whether through shared placements, regular visits, camps or simple phone calls — the benefits ripple outward. Children heal faster, families reunify more successfully and young people enter adulthood with stronger support systems.

“Talk to any of our youth who have connections with brothers and sisters, and they feel a sense of purpose in being with them,” Bailey reflects. “Whether it’s being a role model or helping them in some way, they maintain that purpose even though they’re going through a traumatic time.” 

As Smith beautifully notes, research shows that siblings who maintain their connections throughout foster care report significantly better long-term outcomes. “A lot of times, when children who have been adopted later speak back to our agency, those who were separated from their siblings express that it greatly impacted them in the long run.”

The Path Forward

Every child deserves to feel connected to family, especially during life’s most challenging chapters. Whether you become a caregiver willing to take sibling groups, support an organization that facilitates sibling visits, or simply spread awareness about this critical need, you can play a role in preserving these life-changing connections. Siblings need each other. When they can’t be together, they need us to get creative, stay committed and never give up on maintaining their connections.

Ready to make a difference in the lives of siblings who need each other most? Learn more about becoming a foster caregiver for sibling groups and help keep families connected during their time of greatest need.