October is National Bullying Prevention Month, a time to raise awareness about the power of connection, belonging and empathy in creating safe environments for children and teens. While much of the conversation around bullying focuses on stopping negative behaviors, the foundation for prevention begins before any signs of bullying appear.

Dr. Brené Brown explains, “belonging is the innate human desire to be part of something larger than us. Because this yearning is so primal, we often try to acquire it by fitting in and by seeking approval, which are not only hollow substitutes for belonging, but often barriers to it.”

A recent report revealed that less than half of students feel a sense of belonging at school. That means millions of children and teens walk into classrooms each day unsure if they are truly seen, accepted or valued. Research consistently shows that belonging is a protective factor for youth mental health, academic success and positive relationships.

At KVC Health Systems, we know that connection and belonging aren’t just ideals — they are essential to wellbeing. Let’s explore why belonging is so powerful and how you can help kids and teens build that foundation rather than settling for fitting in.

What Do You Feel When You Truly Belong?

“Belonging is the deep and affirming experience of being accepted, respected and connected in ways that honor who we are and where we come from,” says Dr. Abyssinia Tabron, Vice President of Clinical Engagement for KVC Health Systems.

Dr. Abyssinia Washington Tabron, Vice President of Clinical Engagement

She explains that belonging and connection are related but distinct ideas: “Connection is the moment-to-moment experience of being in meaningful relationship with others — it’s about shared emotion, empathy and understanding. Belonging is the sustained sense of acceptance and inclusion within a group or community, without having to alter or hide who you are.”

Too often, we confuse belonging with fitting in. “Fitting in asks us to mold ourselves to the expectations of others,” Dr. Tabron says. “Belonging, by contrast, gives us the freedom to bring our whole selves into a space and know that our story and way of being are valued. Fitting in bends us toward acceptance. Belonging expands the circle so we can stand in our truth together.”

When children and teens feel they belong, they are more likely to treat others with kindness and respect — creating a ripple effect that protects against bullying.

“Belonging and respect aren’t abstract ideals,” Dr. Tabron says. “They’re shields that protect young hearts, minds and communities from harm.”

Practical Ways to Foster Belonging

Parents, caregivers and teachers all play a vital role in helping children and teens feel included and valued. Dr. Tabron shares several ways adults can help youth feel belonging and respect:

1. Model Respect in Daily Interactions

Show that differences in opinion, culture and ability are opportunities for learning, not division.

2. Teach Empathy and Perspective-Taking

Use stories or real-life examples to help children and teens see the world through others’ eyes. Ask reflective questions like, “How would you feel if that happened to you?”

3. Celebrate Differences and Cultural Strengths

Create opportunities for youth to share their traditions and experiences.

4. Set Clear, Consistent Expectations

Communicate that exclusion or intimidation are never acceptable.

5. Encourage Cooperative Activities

Group projects, sports and volunteering help youth experience the power of teamwork and friendship.

6. Prioritize Belonging

When young people feel their voices matter, they are less likely to seek power or control through harmful behaviors.

“At home, belonging grows when children feel seen, heard, and valued for who they are — not who we want them to be,” Dr. Tabron adds. “Daily practices of acceptance and joy shape how children treat themselves and others.”

When a child or teen has a solid sense of belonging, they have a foundation of connection and self-esteem. “True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world,” explains Dr. Brené Brown. Their self-acceptance empowers them to be part of a positive culture at school, meaning bullying is less frequent and less impactful.

Studies show that teaching students to speak up when they witness bullying and to take a stand against it, can reduce future bullying situations by more than 50%. Plus, research indicates that when targeted students feel more connected to their peers, they are better able to cope with the effects of bullying.

Why Building Belonging is Critical for Kids in Foster Care

Children in foster care often experience disruptions to family, school and community. Due to the challenges these kids and teens face, building belonging is even more important. Kim D., Lead Transition Specialist with KVC Kansas, says “Being connected and feeling that you belong helps to heal, build confidence and create belonging.”

KVC’s work focuses on strengthening existing relationships and building new ones. “Our kinship team works hard to keep children with family whenever possible,” said Kim. “We also help maintain connections in schools, provide respite when needed, and fundraise for programs that let kids participate in sports, clubs and youth councils — all of which foster belonging and shared joy.”

Kim explains these opportunities help youth feel seen and supported, while also offering a sense of normalcy. “It’s important to meet them with patience, presence and encouragement to help them find their people and build meaningful connections,” shares Kim.

Belong at KVC 

At KVC, we believe belonging is at the heart of healing. Our teams work every day to help children and families build healthy relationships. All of our services are informed by our vision. We want to see a world in which every person is safe and connected to a strong family and a healthy community.

We also practice belonging internally by nurturing connection and belonging among our employees. Inspired by the many different backgrounds of the children, teens, adults and families we serve, we seek to create a workplace culture that embraces differences. We’re proud to have a team of people with unique skills, talents, experiences and perspectives who have helped us build such a rich team culture. Being welcomed by a team that celebrates individuality invites you to show up as your full self.

Boost Your Child’s Sense of Belonging: We’re Here for You

Caring for your mental health and building connections are powerful steps toward creating communities where every child feels they belong. If you or a child in your care needs support, KVC Health Systems is here to help. We provide a range of services, including, parenting resources and family support, mental health hospitals, individual, family and group therapy, foster care and adoption support.

More Resources for Parents & Caregivers

Bullying Prevention: How Connection, Empathy and Action Can Make an Impact

Learn how to spot bullying and how you can overcome it through encouraging connection.

5 Reasons Children Bully and How Parents Can Help

How can you prevent your child from becoming someone who bullies? It’s important to understand what defines a bully and typical reasons children bully.

The Loneliness Epidemic: Cultivating a Culture of Connection

The U.S. Surgeon General released an advisory on the loneliness epidemic. Here’s how connection can bring healing and support wellbeing.

5 Ways Parents and Caregivers Can Help Children Build Self-Esteem and Self-Love

Find out how you can help kids build self-esteem to empower them with confidence and resilience for lifelong happiness and success.

What Parents & Teens Need to Know About the Surgeon General’s Mental Health Warning for Social Media

Social media plays a significant role in our daily lives and supports our connections. But it’s a tool we need to learn to use in a way that doesn’t negatively impact our wellbeing. Get resources to help navigate the complexities social media presents.